Happiness is happiness...

I shouldn't be trying to stop them. To be his other choice. To show him that I could give him so much more, even though I can. He'll have to find this out on his own. I can't be prying love, happiness, or even soul mates apart. No matter how much I like him. No matter if its even love. I've been there, done that. I've loved once and now he's around to mock me. To show that he barely cares. Along with the other one. What's another 10 pounds, so to say....? Its nothing more than I burden that I'm carrying around to show how much shit I've been through. The world isn't my kingdom, nor my Paradise. Its more of a jail cell. That serves cold food and bitter sadness. Not like being with a guy that treats me like his everything when another woman is happy to be with him. But the real problem is, what if I give up now and we were ment to be? Do I just keep this going with a guy I'm starting to fall for or give up on what may be ment to be???? If there really is a God can you make me make the best and non-painful decision?! I don't wanna cry myself to sleep anymore but I don't want to be the reason another human being does. I know I hurt myself to keep other safe but my heart has been through too much. And if this goes horribly wrong, I don't know how much I can take.....maybe this is the end....maybe I'm at the dead end of my life. To where I've lost everything worth living for....so many "what if"s......give me the right choice and I promise to believe in you.....until then, you'll be another thing I don't believe is in the cold hearted world. </3