I don't really know how to describe the feeling.... I feel so lonely. I have no friends, I messed up a great relationship with someone who could have possibly been perfect for me. All this is really getting to my head. I don't know what exactly what to day to show everyone how I feel about this last month or so...It seems like everyone can fufil a love life or even relationship that has some happiness in it but all I seemed to know what to do is mess up. To get life to wipe my life with its ass. I hate it. I was happy, I was satisfided with life for once and now, like always...it didn't last but a good few months. I'm 16 and have depression to where i literally scare people off. I can't seem to keep anyone. One way or another I'm left alone.
This may sound like a cry for attention, but really it isn't.
I wish i didnt have the thought of being sent away with the just slightest brush of a blade. If someone found out that i would have then i'd be gone. Straight jacket most likely and a paded room to let me wither away in. I sound dramatic...
I just can't help myself to not think of the happiness i used to get out of it. It used to make me feel so balanced out. So, complete...
Now, I'm stuck in this house of memories that haunt me day and night and the pictures of you to show me what i yet again messed up on. To show me what i did and could still have. But no.....I cry and cry and cry and yet life doesn't seem to grant "breaks" to those who are weak. Only the strong succeed right? I guess so.
i don't want to keep this going because I've already made myself sound like a complete lunatic...
Please forgive me.
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