Your silence is deadly to me.

Your silence..
It's like a bullet driving through my mind.
So cold and painful.
What used to be so open and comforting, is now deadly.
We used to talk, like best friends
Now you just sit, staring out like the world has ended in front of your eyes.
Everything used to matter yet you don't seem to show its effects
I can't tell if you are here or somewhere beyond the horizon...
It's scary to see your soul leave this world and glide somewhere it would much rather be.
I watch you as your lifeless body does what it has always done, while the light behind your gaze slowly dies out.
It becomes engulfed in the blackness of your mind.
Your body becomes spiritless but the only thing your mind shows is worry and sadly.
When you pass by, you're like an ora i just can't feel.

What was once such happiness, is now sorrow.
What we had was something nobody else could feel.
You were something nobody has ever seen.
People looked and pointed
It was perfect to me.
Now, I'm just walking alone
With your lifeless body, that nobody even notices

I want it all back...
Every part of what was.
When I think about it, pieces gently disappear.
I need it




What happened to my father?

My heart is so confused..

Everything happens for a reason, right?
But this thing didn't have a real meaning.
You went and did it because life got hard.
And it isn't going to always be easy.
Hard decisions come and when they do, the best thing to do is to take time thinking about what the out come will bring.
But you, well you didn't think anything through.
You ran and hid...Thinking everything would fix itself.
But baby, it wont.
And when you said those words, my heart sank.
Tears fell and my mind went dead.
After the first time, i took my precautions.
I locked away the thing that you hurt the most.
And now, whatever we are, its like I'm being tied up and drug along.
Can you dump me somewhere I can be cared for?
Somewhere to heal these broken feelings.
You crushed my heart, soul and future.
I opened up and fell in love because you made it possible to believe it.
The future seemed so certain and possible.
I want it back.
I want us back.
I want my life back.
I want my self back.
Back to the way it was when we fell in love.
Back to our first kiss and how everything was.
I never wanted it to be this way and I know now it isn't my fault.
You ran from me and now my heart is running from you.
And as the days pass as you don't talk to me, it gets farther and farther away.
Your voice brings it back.
Your touch holds it still.
Your love brings it closer and closer to you....
I just want what we used to be...
With everything so calm and with our love in the air.....
Don't let me go, I don't want to be that without you.